On a recent episode of KBS Joy‘s show, Ask Us Anything, MAMAMOO‘s Solar appeared as a special host and listened to guests’ concerns with MC Seo Jang Hoon. The show is somewhat similar to Hello Counselor in that two hosts listen to guests’ concerns and offer advice as well as a tarot card reading for their future.
In this episode, a 26-year-old woman named Kim Young Rim asked for advice about her boyfriend of six years, who never spent any money on her. She added, “He’s also asking me to give him an allowance of ₩20,000 KRW [about $17.77 USD] every week.”
In the first 3-4 months of dating, we used to dutch pay everything, then we got close and he told me that I had to pay for everything. I didn’t understand why so I complained to him, but he threatened to break up with me.
—Kim Young Rim
“Dutch Paying” or “Going Dutch” is now a common practice for first/early dates, and it means to split the bill and pay half each. However, it is still often expected for men to pay for dates or at least do it occasionally to be respectful and loving.
Kim Young Rim revealed that she spends about ₩150,000 KRW (about $132.53 USD) per week on her boyfriend. Her boyfriend, however, has never spent money on her or given her a gift. He usually just leaves a text message on her birthday.
The MCs were surprised and angered.
He’s not dating you! He’s just taking advantage of you! He realized that you are willing to pay for everything from early on in the relationship. He thinks you are his wallet—his bank.
—Seo Jang Hoon
Solar agreed in saying that she doesn’t think her boyfriend actually likes her. She went on to clarify her opinion.
It’s not only the issue about money. I really wonder if a guy who says ‘Let’s break up’ so often and so easily, really likes you. Just break up with him. I know you dated him for a long time, so it will take a long time to forget him, but I hope you can meet and date someone who really cares for you and likes you. I think you can become happier that way.
Young Rim graciously took the advice, and the two then allowed her to choose a tarot card from the pile. She drew the “spilled water” card, the Korean version of the “spilled milk” idiom. Jang Hoon further explained that this card is telling her that her boyfriend is “spilled milk.” He is done and over with.
Solar once again expressed that she hopes she can let her boyfriend “be spilled milk” and find someone better.
Young Rim later announced that the hosts made her come to her senses, and she has since broken up with her boyfriend.
Catch the whole intervention below! (Although there are currently no English subtitles.)