A recent episode of MBC‘s Docuplex shared a couple of late Sulli‘s diary entries.
The first diary entry that was revealed appeared to have been written when Sulli was younger.
It detailed Sulli’s innermost thoughts about herself as well as her relationship with her family. The way she sounded hopeless and lonely shattered the viewers’ hearts.
I haven’t written in this diary for a really long time.
Today, I dreamed that my teeth fell out. I didn’t feel very happy about that. I went to the recording and saw a video of myself, and I look… really dirty and ugly. I feel embarrassed thinking people are going to be pointing at me and evaluating me. Why can’t I be more confident? If I think about it… I feel like I’m still influenced by the hurt that remains in my heart from a long time ago despite not being able to remember them very well. I’ve never received infinite love. Dad left me even though I did nothing wrong. I felt like Mom might leave too if I misbehave, so I forgot about myself and followed her opinions and wishes.
By 2014, however, Sulli showed a happier side of herself when she was dating Dynamic Duo‘s Choiza.
Today, I sent to the nail salon with Jaeho Oppa (Choiza). I’m happy because I feel like we found something else we could do together. I don’t need anything else… No matter what happens later or what people say, I’m really happy right now. I’m so happy that I don’t want to miss any of the emotions I’m feeling, I want to remember them all, and I want to feel even the smallest things. Oppa is a really precious person to me. I cherish everything about him. How can someone be so pure, kind, not calculative, smart, wise, trustworthy, and warm?
It’s impossible not to love him. He’s really precious. He’ll probably be the most precious person to me for the rest of my life. I’m happy. I’m so blessed to have met him. This is happiness.
This entry revealed that when Sulli and Choiza were dating, she trusted and relied on him — as couples do. Viewers found peace in knowing that Sulli was happy in the relationship while it lasted.
Unfortunately, when the documentary aired and shed light on Sulli’s past relationship once again, it caused some unfiltered hate to reach Choiza.
Read more about the backlash here.